8 Things Every Man Wants From His Queen

  In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, love, and relationships, I wanted to share what I have identified as (in my opinion and experience) the 8 most important things any woman can contribute to her man, and her relationship. There are some generalizations, but for the most part these concepts and this information holds true. FYI: None of them can be purchased ladies!

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 1. Attention
    Whether you just met him or have been together for years, paying attention to your man with the same intensity, curiosity, and interest as you did in the beginning of the relationship on a consistent basis will do two major things for you both. One, it will reinforce the feeling that he is relevant and important to you, and alleviate wonder or doubt in those areas. Two, it will also make him become aware of how much attention he is paying to you by default. You will be setting a standard for the relationship and contributing to him at the same time. A tip when it comes to paying attention, always be yourself and do what is in line with who you are, but constantly look for new ways that you can show him attention. Innovation, in terms of how you express your feelings for each other and choose to acknowledge one another, will create the variety and spontaneity that is necessary for him to feel alive and fulfilled...and you want to be the one to bring that to the relationship and make him feel those things so there will be no need to entertain them from anyone else.    
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2. Secure Expression of Self Confidence
     The last thing any guy wants to be responsible for, let alone associated with is a woman who is insecure and in constant need of, or in search for external validation. Behave and act in a way that shows you are comfortable and content with who you are in your own skin- that’s what a mature man wants. We all know that a smile and confidence are two things that can automatically make anyone more attractive. Do your best to carry yourself and believe in yourself in a way that you possess both as often as possible. Do this by tapping into all that you have to be confident and secure about as an individual, and as a woman, then use that confidence to show your interest in him. There is a huge difference in the appeal of a woman who is desperate or needy for attention, and a confident woman who clearly doesn’t need attention to be validated - yet will make it known that she desires it from me!

3. Femininity
    Too many people confuse femininity with being submissive, weak, or inferior. However,  true feminine energy is just as strong, powerful and persuasive as masculine energy is, just in an entirely different way. Feminine energy can command attention and focus through attraction, and not just physical attraction. There is a certain energy that is needed to entice and seduce, and feminine energy is central to becoming an expert in that area. One of the things that makes your energy unique and different from ours, ladies, is the power of subtlety. You have the ability to magnify and emit an emotion, in the most subtle but noticeable way. Men by nature are driven, focused, typically with a goal oriented single track mind. It’s what gives us the great ability of pursuit. This applies to how we interact with women as well. When we are interested or attracted to you we feel a magnetic pull towards you, and the stronger your feminine energy is, the more it elicits our masculine charge, and that’s when our instinct or drive to pursue kicks in and we lock on to you. The true power of feminine energy is harnessed when a woman understands and learns how to harness the pursuit of that drive, and then can dictate the connection, interaction, and outcome that is desirable to her, given the particular situation. This is done through the art and mastery of seduction and enticement. Again, not necessarily or primarily sexual in nature at all (although sexual attraction is a huge area of opportunity and highly related to the energy and chemistry between two people that are connected to each other). When this is done effectively with your man, your feminine energy will light him up by being the perfect compliment to his masculine energy that already exists, and it will allow him the most conducive opportunity to express himself and feel comfortable being who he is by nature, and who he wants to be for and with you moving forward. Just remember, confidence in your true sense of feminine energy is key. This will backfire if your attempt at being feminine is overbearing, exaggerated, or not authentic. A prerequisite to feminine energy is enough confidence in yourself as a woman to recognize, welcome, and embrace the masculine energy of your partner. Ultimately, being feminine is not so much about being more of a woman, as much as it is letting your man express the masculine energy he possesses. By doing this, it will allow for sparks that only happen when there is a balance of feminine and masculine energy between the two of you. The fact is, feminine energy is the equal counterpart to masculine energy, and both are necessary for an optimal charge between the two of you.

4. Affection & Public Expression of How We Make You Feel
    If you want to make your man feel good, give him a genuine compliment. However, if you want to stroke your man's ego and literally make him feel like your king, then genuinely compliment him in front of, or to others. This is the male equivalent of PDA. The only thing we like to hear more than you tell us how amazing we are, is hearing you tell everyone...hell, anyone else how amazing we are. Genuinely, of course. We know women generally want to hear they are special to the person they are with, and they want to hear it from the person they are with. Well your man wants to feel like he’s special, too ladies…however, it may not be in the same way as you do. We love to hear it from you, yes. But there is something really absolute and vulnerable about expressing your positive views, thoughts or feelings about us to others, preferably in front of us, but we appreciate it regardless. This doesn't mean you have to shout from a mountain top by the way. There are small, simple, yet powerful ways to do this. It could be a compliment, it could be in the form of a flattering joke that sounds exaggerated, yet you confirm is the truth. It could be in the form of a comment or interjection about another relationship. Let me be clear, this is not about going out to specifically brag about your man (although we won’t be mad at you for that either, just don’t be too obnoxious about it lol). This is about confidently sharing information with others about what you like, appreciate, are grateful for and proud of having in your man, if and when the opportunity presents itself.
    The flip side of this is worth keeping in mind as well. As much as we love to be praised in public and it can work wonders for your connection and relationship, insulting us or putting us down and disrespecting us in front of others can be one of the most destructive things you can do to a man, his ego, and his trust in you.

5. Support
    Support from you is critical, and needs to provide the opportunity for us to be vulnerable, while also being able to remind us that we are capable and strong enough to handle and overcome any obstacle. One of the most critical ways you can support your man is when it comes to his interests, skills, and goals. When a man feels like he has the support of his woman behind him and his mission, he feels unstoppable. This is because our identity, ego, sense of self, and therefore our self esteem are often tied to our work and our external efforts, or what we produce and accomplish, so being supportive in that area of our lives is crucial. You don’t have to share or have the same interests or skills as we do by any means, but the effort you put into showing interest in us, what we do, and who we are will come into play when it's time to being supportive, because that is when you will be able to remind us about all that we have done and are capable of doing, if we lose our focus or we get down. It will allow you to offer us support and assistance in the form of guidance that we can trust, from someone who we will know is in tune with our drive and genuinely cares about the specifics of our concerns.

6. Confirmation of Satisfaction and Fulfilment
    Public expression and affection for us may be one of, if not the most powerful ways to stroke our ego, and confirm to the world that we are your king. But, not all things are appropriate enough to say or share in public...and when it comes to our world, specifically our worth/value to you and sense of security, we need to know specifically that we are enough for you, that we satisfy you, and that you feel fulfilled in being with us. Once again, this has to do with overall satisfaction, not just when it comes to sex! That being said, this absolutely includes sex, but it also includes intimacy, effective communication, understanding, reliability, trust, safety, security, friendship, support, and the level of effort and commitment in any or all of those areas, and possibly others. There is nothing more satisfying for a man than to know he is enough for his woman and that she is satisfied, fulfilled and content in the relationship because of him.  

7. Sense of Humor
    I cannot overstate the importance of having a sense of humor with your man. Humor and inside jokes are one of the absolute best ways to maintain consistency of connection and chemistry with each other in a fun, playful way. Having a sense of humor does not necessarily mean being funny by the way. He may be the funny one, or the jokester (and there is a good chance that he may be or seem less serious about a lot of things compared to you). In that case, all you really need is a relaxed or laid back attitude. The only thing worse than someone who doesn't have a sense of humor, is someone who is so uptight and takes everything so seriously and personally that they ruin everyone else's vibe. They say if you can make a girl laugh you can make her do anything. Well if you can relax and enjoy a guy's sense of humor without taking yourself too seriously, he’ll probably do anything for you!

8. Independence & Sense of Identity
    This may seem contradictory to a few of the previous points I made such as praise, support, affection and attention, but one of the most attractive things about a woman is a woman who does her own thing. As much as we want to feel needed, wanted, appreciated, respected, and relied on, we really love when you have your own life (hobbies, interests, goals, routine, etc.), you become infinitely more interesting to us. When a woman has a strong sense of who she is and her own identity, it helps us know who we are with, what we are getting, and also how to support her. It allows for you and your man to operate or function on our own during the time you are not together, without worrying about or being distracted by someone who is needy, clingy, or attached to the behavioral pattern or routine of the relationship. We don’t necessarily want to be your whole world as much as we want you to have your own world that you want to share with us - because we are the only man for you in that world!